The Nature of Commitment

I think as a society, we tend to link fear of commitment to men. But I don't think that's fair. At least not entirely.  Men, I think, are afraid of commitment (if/when they're afraid of commitment) because they don't like the impression it gives (to potential suitors, to their friends, etc.)  But women, at least this woman, can tend to fear commitment, not because of what it says to others-- we like that part, I think.  It says we're loved, we're taken care of, we don't have to worry anymore-- but because we fear what will happen if we're wrong...

If I say we're committed, and then I turn out to be wrong... eek.  Honestly, how many of us have felt that feeling?  That carpet-pulled-out-from-underneath-you-can't-believe-forever-went-so-fast kind of feeling? I'm guessing quite a few because that kind of tragic disappointment is an unfortunate part of life.  And then, to top it all off, not only are you in agony, you're embarrassed... (And shallow or not, as women, I think this is something we try ardently to avoid... especially women of our day and age.  We're supposed to be strong, confident, independent... and falling in love is ok.  We've given ourselves that. But falling in love alone....? Not for the "strong.") It is crushing to think that you look desperate as well as tragic.

That's a lot of jibber/jabber to say simply this: commitment is scary.  And for one reason or another, most of us are scared of it to some degree.  Sure, there are those who love to be in love, (hell, I love to be in love... as it turns out... tehehe), but even those people have got to be nervous on some level.  So when is it ok to announce love, then?  When is it ok to pledge commitment?   I don't know. I tend to think maybe there isn't an answer because quite frankly, there isn't a way to love or commit without risk.

Just food for thought.  The nature of the beast-- maybe you can't have love and comfort without a bit of risk.  And maybe, that's a price worth paying.  Anywho, crazy or not, ready or not, I'm committed, before God and the almighty internet. I'm hooked-- and prepared to face the shame and embarrassment and future pain if I end up loving in vain.  But... something has me not so worried :).

P.S. Worth the risk?

I think so :)

JoJo