Love, Hurt, and Conflict Resolution

I have not been in many relationships before this one, but I have been in several, and to be honest: we didn't really fight (in any of my other relationships.)  Maybe a disagreement now and then, which usually I won, but no fighting... Quite frankly, if we really didn't see something the same way, we just broke up.  And that was it.

Mimi and I, however, we fight.  We fight over stupid things and important things and completely trivial things.  We fight when I feel lied to, or when I feel hurt, or when she feels like I'm not really understanding her.  And when we fight, we definitely fight about that-- I feel like she's mean when we fight, and she feels like I take things too personally and to be honest, I'm sure both of us are kinda right.

Don't get me wrong.  We don't fight all the time.  But we do fight.  And usually when something new comes up that we haven't experienced (together) yet.  But when I thought about it, I realized, this isn't all that surprising.  We have spent twenty-some years, learning, growing, and living- apart.  Not only that, but we have done all of that growing in living in distinctly different environments.  So it isn't remotely surprising that our reactions to life wouldn't always line up, and more so-- that those differences would, on occasion, cause conflict.  And it occurred to me yesterday in the made-up-aftermath of our most recent fight, that maybe the fighting isn't such a bad thing.  We never stop loving each other when we fight, and though we get angry- maybe this is stuff we need to figure out?

Right now, we're safe.  We just have each other to take care of, we don't have anyone else around listening to us argue about how to handle the money, or the car, or work, or whatever.  And that's stuff we need to figure out! Since we did not grow up together, these aren't things that we naturally agree on 100% of the time, and I'm really glad that I'm finally close enough to someone that it's worth debating through the issues, even when it doesn't feel so fun at the time.

So my words to you-- love, live, and fight it out.  It's worth it! (Or at least that's what I'm hoping :). )