The Crazy Factor

A coworker a few months ago was talking about the dramatics of his long-time girlfriend and looked at me and said, "hey, well at least you don't have to put up with that."  I laughed.  A lot.  Granted, on the face, I can see where that makes sense.  A lot of the drama in relationships supposedly arises because men don't understand women and vice versa, so woman + woman should equal a whole lot more understanding..  My experiences in woman/woman relationships, however, imply quite the opposite.  "Understanding" or not, the addition of another woman seems to increase, rather than decrease, the drama factor.  And perhaps, it is just our belief that we intrinsically should understand each other that exacerbates the drama.

After some relationship craziness a year or so back, a very good (male) friend taught me a very valuable truth: women are crazy. Period. The trick (apparently) is to find someone who's good characteristics out-weigh the crazy.  If that's the case, it is no wonder lesbian relationships can be so dramatic- we've got a whole lot of crazy coming face to face.  And worse, rather than in a male/female relationship, where you have one crazy party, and another party resigned to the crazy, in a female/female relationship you have two crazy people, and two people completely convinced the craziness is actually rational.  This leads to moments much like today:  me, crying in my car in front of the Outback, with Mimi insisting on listening to my entire rambling explanation of why I feel sad-- none of which makes a darn lick of sense (and much of which included things like "you sleep too much" and "why do you have to see your mom on a Sunday". Yeah...). And then of course the conversation about the ridiculousness only perpetuates the drama!

I'm not proud of it, but the worst is, I only feel so bad because... it really is in my nature! I'm a little bit crazy, but... hopefully... my good characteristics outweigh my nutso ones? Though I guess you'd have to ask Mimi about that one.  Anywho... the moral of the story is: maybe men really have found a key, here. "Yes, dear," might just be the solution to everything.  Forget understanding, it'll only make it worse!

JoJo