Chicken, Hate, and the Value of a Sandwich

via NY Times

I would be remiss not to mention the chicken debate that has dominated news, tv, and radio this past week or so.  As you undoubtedly know, Dan Cathy, the President of Chik-fil-A recently released statements about his, his family, and his company's views on traditional family.

“We are very much supportive of the family — the biblical definition of the family unit.  We are a family-owned business, a family-led business, and we are married to our first wives. We give God thanks for that."


In addition to the comments above, Chik-fil-A confirmed that they have, in fact, contributed money to groups that are actively anti-LGBT, not simply anti-marriage equality.  These groups support practices such as gay conversion (where it is believed through psychological/physical manipulation one can re-program someone to no longer be LGBT, but return to their "natural" inner heterosexual), and criminalization of LGBT (which is exactly what is sounds like- groups that disapproved in "legalizing" gay, and are working to make it illegal to exhibit gay behavior, acts, etc.)  Up until now, Chik-fil-A has made no secret of its Christian roots, or its dedication to its beliefs- even closing on Sundays.  To my knowledge it has received little flack for that open behavior, nor should it.  Chik-fil-A and its affiliates are correct- Chik-fil-A has every right to its beliefs and practices.  They are privately-held, and so are their policies.  So in spite of what critics to the Chik-fil-A opposition are saying, I would like to make it very clear that in my opinion, the opposition to Chik-fil-A has little, if anything, to do with religion.

Put aside that the religious argument is illogical (the biblical definition of the family unit is wrought with a series of additional family members many forget- concubines, second, third, fourth wives, children of servants and slaves, sleeping with children, or perhaps ones' own father, re-marrying one's husband's brother, and so on), Dan Cathy has every right not to like me.  And again, let me say- I could care less.  I don't care that Dan Cathy, or Chik-fil-A doesn't like my family and my to-be family unit.  I don't care that Chik-fil-A doesn't want me to be married.  The owners of Chik-fil-A have every right to open their mouths and say whatever they please, and accordingly, open their wallets and put their money wherever they like.  But I certainly have a right to be offended by it.  As I am offended, not by Chik-fil-A, but by each and every friend, neighbor, and acquaintance who stood in line at Chik-fil-A on Chik-fil-A Appreciation Day earlier this week.  I am offended by every dollar that was put in the pockets of Chik-fil-A so they could turn around and use it against me.  And I'm offended by anyone who isn't offended.

There's been a lot of talk throughout this debate about the "intolerance" of those of us who oppose the statements and practices of Chik-fil-A.  To that I say, absolutely, I am intolerant of hatred.  I am intolerant of hateful speech, hateful practices, and hate groups. Conservative groups have rallied around Chik-fil-A as if they're defending their rights to believe differently.  Conservative groups have every right to believe, and even practice differently- but I don't understand why it is me who is expected to be the tolerant one.  Chik-fil-A is not tolerant of me, they are not tolerant of my family, they are not tolerant of my beliefs- so why must I smile along, shake hands, and say, "we all have our beliefs." Why isn't every fair-minded American completely intolerant of this intolerance?  If Chik-fil-A was supporting a hate group that opposed interracial marriage, or non-Christians, or black people- would all of the unaffected white Christians sit around un-offended? I should hope not.  I hope that in spite of not being directly affected by the hatred, those white Christians would spend differently.  I hope they would be incensed that this Christian organization was supporting groups that persecuted African Americans, or Jews, or inter-racial couples, or any other group that has been persecuted in the name of the Bible.  I would like to say that I would be offended for them.  Somehow, though, the same rules don't apply to me, yet.  The same rules of discrimination don't apply to LGBT.  Somehow, those who aren't LGBT are still allowed to debate and discuss whether or not they believe in my rights, whether or not they believe I deserve not to be discriminated against.  And because my rights to equality are up for debate, so is the merit of Chik-fil-A's stance.  But they are not up for debate with me, and so I brazenly suggest I have no obligation to be tolerant of this prejudice, and I resent any implication otherwise.

But by virtue of free speech, by virtue of those beliefs we hold so dear, do not confuse this social offense as a reason for governmental intervention.  In this regard, the conservative opposition is correct- we should not withold permits from this group, we should not attempt with rulings or lawsuits to excommunicate this organization.  But we should always remember that our wallets hold the key, and we are responsible for each dollar we spend.  So do you support not supporting equality? Do you support funding hatred? Then don't support it.  Don't spend another dollar on anti-LGBT companies and causes, Chik-fil-A included.  Support companies who do support equality.  Buy your coffee at Starbucks, shop at JC Penney.  We are a Capitalistic society and the strongest ties we have between us and change is our wallet.  Chik-fil-A has every right to belief/and do as they do- but you and I have every right to refuse to fund it.